Being single and finding men in uniform intriguingly attractive, I began asking my friend what it was like dating army men, having an army dad and brother, and what it was like for her mom. She said, basically, the good-byes never get easier, the distance never seems smaller, but for some the love never dims.
I started thinking to myself if I would be able to do that. If I could date and be married to a man who would be deployed for months on end, no guarantee of any contact. I think of myself lying in bed, the kids all tucked in for the night, wishing with all my heart that when I roll over, I will be face to face with the man I love. But it's just me in a king size bed, all alone. Being so close to someone, to love and care for someone so much that I married him but now he's away, doing work and fighting wars.
In your single years you battle loneliness like it's a never ending cold. Being married to an army man... in your heart you're not alone, you're one half of a whole, but he's not with you. It's a whole different level of loneliness because you're not just sitting alone at your desk anymore. You're at a table for two staring at the empty chair knowing exactly who would fill it if only they could be here with you.
As I thought about this feeling, I felt familiar with it. Like I have felt this way before. Then I realized what it was.
Jesus came and stole my heart and vowed through sickness and health, poverty and riches, he would be there. 'Til death do us...cleave. It's like I'm engaged to a man at war! He is waiting for me. As I toil through my life here on earth, he's with me in my heart. He's fighting for me. Although I can't see him and so often I don't even hear from him, I know he loves me and I love him.
Our wedding day will be the day the war is won. When I can finally be with him completely. You know how Paul says "To live is Christ, and to die is gain." it's like... to live as God's betrothed, to be the army wife, it's all for him. The loneliness, the pains, and the small victories, it is all because I love my Man at war. To die is gain, the war within is won. When I die I will FINALLY be with my Man, my Love, his battle will be won and we can be home, together.
Oh! How I long for the day I will audibly hear his loving voice and physically feel his arms wrapped around me and see his beautiful face! To know that every hint of the threat of loneliness is completely banished forever. To be with my Love! To die would indeed be gain. But I'm here, on earth, alive. And that is no small sacrifice. I will strive to live as a dedicated army wife. Help raise his family, the kingdom of God, and stay true and faithful to him until the day when we will be together at last and forever.
Thank you all who serve our country. The sacrifices you have made are a testament to your heart and dedication. And thank you to all who love and are committed to those who are serving. Your decision and faithfulness have not gone unnoticed.
No comments:
Post a Comment