What is It You Seek?

What is happiness? It's what we all are searching for, the thing that gets me is that we seem to know what we're searching for. Do you know what happiness looks like? Well, I felt God wanted me to find that out. Find out what it means to be happy and what other people think it means to be happy. I devised a few questions and started asking. 

How to be Happy: Barbra

I wish I had taken notes as this lovely woman answered my questions!

Barbra is an older woman who has spent the entirety of the last 3 years in bed.

“The only time I get out of bed is when the EMTs roll me onto their canvas and carry me out.” She has mitochondrial disease, a genetic disorder she was born with. She said when she was younger it showed itself mostly with muscle disease and as she got older she had to be fed through a tube. “I don’t eat any food anymore.” She said. And about 3 years ago her bones began to break. She said in a very short period she had over 15 fractures: back, ankles, wrists, she’s now confined to her bed. But this woman radiates happiness, “joy” as she calls it.

I started with asking her what makes her happy, what gives her joy in life. 

Even if I’d taken notes I wouldn't have been able to write it all down! “Friends, seeing people create things, a new bird at the bird feeder...” And the list goes on. She could probably list a million beautiful things she sees and experiences just from where she lays on her bed. Finding the beauty in the little things, she mentioned, is an important gift. 

How many times do you have these joyful moments a week? 

“All the time! I couldn't count them!” she said with a grin and a throw of her hand. All the time. I answered these questions myself and said a max of 4 times a week! But this woman whose entire world consists of her bedroom says she can’t even count how many times she’s happy in a week.

Can you find this “joy” in tough times? You’ve had your fair share, more than most people.

 She lovingly rebuked me, saying everyone has their own pains. She said how blessed she was for having people around her. “Without my friends, family, and church family, I’m not sure what I would have done. It would have been much harder.” And she said she looks to her Lord for her needs. She had a friend who made a list of Bible verses that were about fear, “Antidotes for fear” she called them. She read them every night and after awhile she said they became a part of her thinking. And how that effected her was huge.

How do you suggest creating more happy moments in your life?

She told me a story of an “ah-ha” moment she had when she was my age. She was in a really troubling time and just down in the dumps. “I was in the line to get food in the cafeteria,” she said, “When I heard two boys behind me. One said basically ‘if you want to be happy you have to learn to give to people’”. She told stories of her different caregivers who’d come in with their own problems and sometimes would just sit and talk to her “I guess ‘cause they figured they had a captive audience,” she laughed. She said when you’re more aware of your mortality it opens your eyes to a lot of things. She realized one day that sometimes it’s her job to help the people that come through her door. “If they leave here feeling better, having a good day, then I feel happy.” She feels like she has purpose in life when she helps others in whatever ways she can. You can’t really separate a feeling of purpose in life, from happiness. Over all she said to be happy you have to make an effort to make people happy, to think about someone besides yourself, to help people. Interestingly enough I got the same response from a friend when asked these questions and I myself as well answered “Invest more in people”.

I really do wish I had recorded or at least taken notes of the conversation I had with this woman. She is truly inspirational. She can’t even eat food anymore and she has more happy moments in a week than I do, is that not challenging or what?

Lesson Number One: Love People.