Treading Water

I'm treading water.
I have someone with me but when I hold on to him, in hopes he'll hold me up out of the water, we both end up going under. 

The feeling of unwanted water in my belly and the need to cough it out of my lungs goes unsatisfied as I can't find a footing to bring my head above water. The sense of weakness and hopeless-exhaustion overwhelms me. My tears mingle with the water that is killing me.

I can hardly breath but I can't go looking for The Rock because of him who's with me. He talks about land, he knows we both need The Rock but he continues to tread aimlessly. 

I'm so scared that if I leave, he won't follow. Instead he will give up and drown, convinced that The Rock can only be found in the depths of the sea. 

If I could only bring The Rock to him! Moving him is impossible because we'll both drown. He has to go on his own and I do too but... if I leave, he'll die. I could never forgive myself. 

So I guess I'll swallow the waves as they come and continue treading water.


"God, you can move entire mountains but all I'm asking for is one rock, one rock big enough for both of us to stand on."